Godspeed
by Linda-previouslyMissyMaura
Summary: [LUBY] two years time. Is it happenening all over again? Fourth chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

This is my new fic. Set in about 2 years. No real spoilers apart from a Luby child.

I only own the made up characters.

_**The songs are 'Godspeed' by the Dixie Chicks and 'Home' by Michael Buble. **_

_**Read the lyrics because I chose specifically.**_

_

* * *

_

_God bless mommy and match box cars  
God bless dad and thanks for the stars_

_-------------------- _

The little girl smiled weakly as her father held her in his arms.

"Don't go daddy, please."

"I have to baby, I have to go." She shook her head.

"No! Daddy!" He placed her back in her mother's arms and turned his head away from her face, tear stained and empty.

"I'll be back soon." She turned her face away into her mother's neck and didn't look again until she could no longer hear his car chugging down the street.

"Come on, let's make dinner." But she wouldn't be coaxed into good humour.

"No." She frowned and ran into her room. Her mother sighed and began cooking, tears silently meandering down her cheeks.

"Abby! Come on!" She opened her eyes and yawned. "Come on! We're going shopping." Maggie grinned as she squirmed through the door.

"Mom, I don't want to. Can't I stay here?"

"Abigail, you're 7 and a half. Of course you can't stay here. Now come on, I want to pick up some fabric for a new dress for you." Abby rolled her eyes and threw back the covers. She hated dresses. She hated anything girly if she thought about it. Her legs were too skinny for dresses, her hair too straight for barrettes or bands. Maybe she was meant to be a boy.

"Abby, Eric is crying." Maggie called from the kitchen. "Sweetie, I'm making breakfast. Get him for me, will you?" She hauled herself off the bed and next door, to her little brother's room. Eric pulled himself up to standing with the bars of his old crib.

"Good morning Eric." Abby said softly, lifting him out and onto the floor. "Come on, nappy time." They manhandled him into a clean nappy and she hitched him up again and hurried now the hall just as 'breakfast' was served.

Cornflakes, softened with water. Abby tried to subdue a grimace as Maggie watched them intently. She forced down as much as possible and excused herself.

"Come on Eric." The toddler slid off his seat and grabbed his sister's hand.

Abby hated it, the forced motherhood for someone only 5 years younger than herself. She wanted to be outside, playing in the mud or racing her friends on her new bike. Instead she was inside, looking after a baby because their mother couldn't take the time out of her 'busy schedule' of…sewing and sleeping, to care about either of them. She swore, in her seven year old heart that if she ever had children they would have two parents, a nice house and she'd love them with every bit of her heart. They'd have everything she didn't.

_----- _

_Let me go home _

_I'm just too far from where you are _

_I wanna come home _

_And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life _

_It's like I just stepped outside _

_When everything was going right _

_And I know just why you could not _

_Come along with me _

_But this was not your dream _

_But you always believe in me_

------

"You don't have to go daddy."

"Yes I do little one." She shook her head ferociously. "I'll be back soon, I promise. I just need to go to help some people."

"Help us! I hurted my leg. I need you to look after it."

---------

_Dear Luka_

_How is Dafur? I hope it's okay, and not too hot._

_Everyone here is okay._

Abby set down her pen and rubbed her palms over her face. The apartment creaked in the wind as shadows moved across the floor. It was 2am and she couldn't sleep again. The bed felt too empty without his solid warm weight next to her, the covers too loose with only her needs. She ached for someone to fight over them with.

"Momma." She heard a small voice whisper from the doorway and looked up. Bella tucked her thumb into her mouth and walked over, dragging Teddypig across the carpet. "I couldn't sleep." Abby scooped up her daughter and tucked her into her lap.

"Let's write to daddy." She whispered. "I need some help." Bella rested her head on her mother's chest and sighed. Abby knew it would be a few minutes and she'd be asleep again, but it felt nice to have the weight on her lap. It reminded her of being pregnant, a state she longed to be in again, but the chance had been torn away from her. "I have this little person though." She reminded herself mentally.

"Say we miss him mommy." Bella murmured. Abby kissed her soft hair and picked up the pen.

_We all miss you loads. Bella keeps asking when you're coming home and she sleeps in our bed a lot now. It's nice to have someone to cuddle again._

"That's enough for tonight." Abby said to herself, capping the pen and sliding the paper away from them. She carried Bella into their room and slipped her underneath the covers before sliding in too. Curving around the little girl, she fell asleep immediately.

* * *

_Dear Abby_

_How are you both? Darfur is different. People are dying of diseases we don't even think about in America-diarrhoea, flu, childbirth. It feels like we're getting no where, then a patient will suddenly improve and everyone is boosted._

_I hope Bella is being good, and work is okay. I'll write again soon._

_Love to everyone_

_L xx_

Luka licked the envelope strip and tucked the letter under his pillow until later, when he could send it. The silence outside was bliss after the screaming of a few hours ago.

Two girls had arrived, one half dragging the other towards the camp. Both their hands, feet and clothes were bloody and one was pale beneath the dust.

"Please help me." One girl called, before collapsing under the others weight. People hauled them both up, lifting the injured girl into the tents.

"What happened?" they asked the first. She sat down on the floor and moved her hands to inside her robes. Immediately people stopped, thinking she was a human bomb.

"Do not fear. I am not here to cause harm." She gently lifted a bundle from inside her robe and handed it to the nearest person.

"It was killing her." Lauren unwrapped the bundle and gasped.

Inside lay the smallest baby, the cord still attached and dangling. It took tiny breaths and its whole chest and stomach was working to drag in all the air it could.

"Her father…cut it out…he did it once before. This time she wouldn't stop bleeding." Luka quickly took charge of the baby while Carter's team went to work on the mother's botched caesarean.

"Okay little girl, keep breathing for us." Luka murmured, wiping around her little gaping mouth. The umbilical cord was relatively clean, a good but not perfect sign. He clamped and cut it to a shorter length then attached a drip to her arm. It was precious saline but without it, the baby would dehydrate within minutes. Her heart was fast but strong, and her pupils were reactive to light. Being premature, he guessed her lungs were having problems but without the proper paeds kit, there wasn't much to be done. They could only hope she was strong enough to live.

"I should have stopped him." The girl spoke up. Luka jumped, forgetting her.

"Come sit up here. I'll check you." She moved to the end of the baby's bed.

"Will she survive?"

"I hope so. She looks strong, despite being so early. They're both lucky you brought them in."

"It was the least I could do. I nearly killed her once before."

"You…how?"

"She's my mother." Luka stepped back. The unconscious woman looked no more than 33, this girl about 18. "I know you're shocked. I'm 16 and she is 29. She was 13 when I was born, much too small to bear a child. I not only nearly killed her; I almost stopped her having more children. Luckily she was strong. She has 5 others at home. We live with my grandfather, my uncles and aunts, cousins. They do not trust the US doctors, but I know you will help her."

Both had survived. They were sleeping now, all three together in an embrace so full of love that no one spoke.

Luka pulled back the covers and crept into bed. Sleep was usually easy, but it took him 30 minutes to succumb. And just as he slid under sleep, he pulled his pillow into him and believed it was her.

* * *

**Now I know the medical bits are probably so wrong, so dont flame me for it. **


	2. One Little Person

**My next chapter. Hope you all enjoy. **

**Big shout out to xEllax-my devoted reviewer :D love to know I've made an impact :D**

**Lyrics are 'Far away' by Nickelback and 'You're all I have' by Snow patrol.**

_**Chapter 2**_

-------

_That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_------- _

"Hey Neela." Abby tried to hitch her bag back onto her shoulder, whilst clinging to Bella's hand, hold a cup of coffee and cross the street. Neela span around and grinned broadly.

"Hey Abby, how are you?"

"Fine, if a little tired." Neela nodded, rubbing her belly which protruded very slightly.

"I know the feeling. We've already started painting the nursery, and I'm only 18 weeks!"

"Those weeks will creep up!" Abby laughed. They all entered the hospital and straight into the lounge. "I have to stick her up in day-care again. Susie did break her leg so she's off for at least 6 weeks apparently." Bella pulled a face and pulled on one end of her scarf. "No sweetie, leave it on until we get upstairs." Abby shoved her things inside her locker and gulped down her lukewarm coffee. "I'll be back in 5 minutes." Neela nodded and waved goodbye to Bella.

Grabbing the last chair around the table, Abby began devouring her lunch. It had been chaos out there until 2 minutes ago, when all their prayers joined and the people just stopped coming in.

Multi car pile up on the road just outside had meant every room was occupied, and it seemed the minors waiting in chairs had got bored and gone home.

"How's it going Abby?" Chuny asked kindly.

"It's okay. Bella's been playing up a little; obviously she knows my defences are low. She had chocolate buttons and strawberry milk for breakfast-I just couldn't put up with the screaming any longer. My poor daughter's gonna get malnutrition because I'm missing my husband!" They chuckled and carried on eating.

"He emailed Jerry a general letter for everyone. He says its crazy over there but he's enjoying it." Abby nodded. "Has he written to you?"

"I don't know. I wrote a short one the other day, I couldn't sleep and it seemed the most constructive thing to do. Posted it but I'm not sure when, or even if, he'll get it."

"It's strange without him here." Ray said, looking up from his 'Parent and baby' magazine. "It's not the same being yelled at in an American accent. I long for his rugged Croatian voice again." He ducked as a sandwich wrapper sailed towards him, from Abby's end of the table.

Jerry appeared at the door.

"GSW coming in, ETA 2 minutes." They all sprang up and into action again, Abby a second behind the rest attempting to wipe away the stray tears. She couldn't fall apart here, that was what the sofa at 2am was for.

--------

_It's so clear now that you are all that I have  
I have no fear cos you are all that I have_

-------

Luka stared up at the cloudless sky and took a gulp of water. It was warm but it didn't matter.

"How's it going Luka?" Carter appeared next to him and lay a hand on his friends shoulder.

"Yeah, it tough."

"You missing home?" Luka shifted.

"Yes. At least I was still at home for Bella's birthday though. But Abby says she's been playing up." He sighed. "I know I'm doing good work over here, but somehow I feel guilty for leaving the behind."

"Luka, you're only here for 5 more weeks. It may seem a long time but…"

"You've been here for almost 4 years."

"Well…that as well, but I know Abby's strong. She can cope with one little person for 5 more weeks."

* * *

Abby had officially stopped trying.

As she leant her head against the back of the sofa, she wished with all her heart Luka was here to help.

Bella sat in the centre of the sitting room floor, wearing nothing but a pair of pants, crying. And not just little tears, this was the full works. Floods of tears, red face, screeching at about 200 decibels, paired with the tensing of all the muscles in her body.

"Bella…please, stop crying." Abby whined, rubbing her eyes.

"I WANT DADDY!" the little angel screwed up her eyes and raised the volume up a notch. Finally Abby had had enough.

"Right missy, bed." She picked her up, missing the flailing legs as she carried her to bed. "Stay here until you're calm." Placing Bella on the bed, Abby marched out and shut the door. Through the paper thin walls she could hear her sobs but knew she was in no danger.

She pottered around the kitchen, making a pot of coffee and some toast. Her appetite was shot and all she felt like doing was sleeping. So she did the next best thing- put on Fear Factor.

Softly, from the hallway to her right she heard footsteps. Little footsteps. Little footsteps made by little, bare feet.

"Mommy?" Abby turned and smiled slightly. Bella stood in the doorway to the sitting room, clutching Teddypig in one hand, and wearing a blanket as a cape. "Can I cuggle?" Abby reached out and swung the little girl onto the seat next to her.

"Now, are you going to cry anymore?" Bella shook her head. "Sweetie, I miss daddy too but he's home real soon." She kissed her daughter's head and tucked the blanket around the both. "Let's watch 'Lady and the Tramp', shall we?" Bella squirmed and nodded. It was her favourite.

"What would I do without you, Bells?" Abby said, more to herself than Bella.

"I don't know mommy." Bella peered up at her mom from her position tucked into her side. Her oceanic eyes were sleepy and red-rimmed from crying. She shrugged, tucked her thumb into her mouth and turned her gaze back to the TV screen.

She could cope for 5 more weeks with one little person…right?


	3. Who's Bill?

**Third chapter :D hope you enjoy and thanks for all the fabbie reviews I've been getting :D**

**xx**

**Chapter 3**

"He's not coming back!" She screamed, the liquor fumes enveloping the little girl's head. "And it's all because of you." She jabbed a finger into her chest, laughing as her daughter winced and pulled away. "Go on; go write a letter to your daddy. He won't write back you know."

Abby hurried off down the hall, holding back tears. Entering Eric's room, she scooped up the half asleep toddler and carried him into her room. She knew he was safe if he was in here, Maggie wouldn't attempt to mother him if they were together. Last time she'd been this drunk, she'd dropped him down the stairs and they'd ended up in the ER at 3am. Somehow both kids were allowed home, even though Maggie stuck of whiskey. Maybe it was because she'd promised to take the meds this time.

Safe in the semi-dark, Eric fell asleep quickly, curled into the corner with his thumb in his mouth as Abby sat down to write another letter.

_Dear Daddy_

_Please come back. Mom is taking her meds again, and I promise I'll be really good. I'm sorry for making you leave. Please daddy, we all miss you. _

_Love Abby xxx_

She carefully fitted the paper into a blue envelope and wrote his address across the front. In the morning she'd post it. But for the time being, she'd sleep.

Curling around Eric, she slipped into a dreamless sleep until Maggie woke her at 6am to get up.

--------

Abby jolted awake from a dream where she was alone in a house and someone was trying to kill her. Bella's cries echoed down the hall and she hurried to fetch her.

"Hey Belly, What's up?" Bella smiled through her tears at her mother's nickname.

"Nightmare mommy." She reached up and clung to Abby's neck.

"Come on then sweetie, let's try and sleep." Abby carried her back to her bed and settled them both down. "Don't be afraid Bells, I'm here."

Bella nuzzled into Abby's flannel shirt, a cast off of Luka's from the last big wardrobe clearout. It made her feel safe, knowing it was his.

The doorbell woke them up, 4 hours later.

"I'll be right there!" Abby yelled, hurrying to the door.

"Post." The man handed her a bunch of letters.

"I have a box!" she said loudly.

"Couldn't fit them all through." He mumbled, wandering off.

"If you'd…ahh, forget it!" she slammed the door and jumped at Bella standing behind her.

"Don't swear now mommy." She said in the tone she'd so obviously picked up from Luka. Abby laughed and rolled her eyes.

Leafing through the junk she picked out the few important ones and hurled the rest in the bin.

"Bill…bill…bill…"

"Who's Bill mommy?"

"No one sweetie…oh, look. A letter. Two letters!" Abby tore open the first and read through it quickly. "Daddy says Hello and he hopes you're being good Belly." Bella giggled and climbed onto her mother's lap. "He's having fun." She smiled and kissed Bella's cheek. "I wonder if this one is from daddy too."

_Dear Abby_

_Forgive me for writing so out of the blue but I have only just found your address. I have been thinking of you and Eric for a while now, wondering how you both are and what you are doing. I recently became a grandfather, as my daughter, your half sister had a baby boy. Her name is Dawna and he is named Charlie. It made me wonder if this wasn't my first grandchild. I know this may be a shock, maybe one you don't appreciate but if you do want to get in contact, please do. I have missed seeing you grow up, and I long to see what a good job you did yourself._

_My love, always._

_Donald Wysinski _

Abby gulped and looked back at the paper.

Her father. After 30 years, he was writing back!

"Mommy, what's wrong. You look funny." Bella held her hand to Abby's head, like she'd seen be done when she felt unwell.

"Sweetie, my daddy has written to me."

"Daddy?"

"No, _my_ daddy." Bella nodded and slid off.

"Can I watch Barney?" Abby nodded, looking back at the paper again.

She had a sister…and a nephew. How many other family members did she have without knowing?

She scanned the letter and found a return address and a phone number.

Could she handle phoning him? Or would it be easier to start off by writing? Looking up she immediately saw her pad of paper and pen, like a sign.

She laughed but walked over and picked them up. Start by writing, get to know him again, she thought.

Making sure Bella was happy in front of the telly, Abby sat at the table and began writing.

_Dear Donald._

_I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about you since you left. I'd also be lying if I told you I wasn't angry, or upset. But my family deserve to know about their grandfather and father-in-law._

_I'm a doctor in a hospital in Chicago. I have a three year old daughter, named Isabella, but we call her Bella. By 'we' I mean my husband and I. His name is Luka Kovac and he's also a doctor in the same hospital. We got married on the 6th July 2007. It would have been nice if you had given me away, but that's the way life goes. _

_I'm glad to hear you moved on after you left. Is Dawna your only child? Maybe some day I'll get to meet you, and all your family._

_Eric has bi-polar disorder. He was an air traffic controller, but he's left the air force and he lives with mom in Minnesota. We don't speak often, but he came to the wedding as did Maggie. _

_It was a shock getting your letter, but maybe at last I can get the answers to some questions I always wanted to ask you._

_Take care, _

_Abby x_


	4. Starfishing

**The lyrics are 'Home' by Michael Buble (again)**

**_

* * *

Chapter four_**

"I have the flight out."

"Wait, Luka, you said you'd stay for another few weeks." Carter caught his friend's arm.

"John, I'm sorry but Abby needs me, Bella needs me at home. I have a family now." Carter shrugged and trudged away, and Luka sighed.

The flight was booked for three days away. He could stay until tomorrow evening, and then hitch a lift to the city with someone who was going for the supplies. He'd planned it well.

Sitting down in a plastic chair he pulled out the well worn photo of Danijela and Jasna, but then extracted another photo from behind.

It had been taken at Bella's birthday party a few months ago. The sun was shining and Bella was wearing her 'pretty dress'. Her freckles had appeared in the sun and she was laughing as Abby was playfully chasing her to give her a kiss. It was spontaneous and beautiful. He smoothed it out and sighed. Only a few more days.

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_Let me go home  
I've had my run  
Baby, I'm done  
I gotta go home  
Let me go home  
It will all be all right  
I'll be home tonight  
I'm coming back home_

-----------

She rolled over and bunched the duvet between her hands. Sleep muddled her head and she decided the noise had been in her imagination. She could hear Bella's breathing next to her, feel her leg touching her own. Without another thought she fell back asleep.

He closed the door softly and laid the suitcase on the floor. The flight had been delayed and he was annoyed that it was now 5am. Neither of them would be up, and he had been so looking forward to this moment.

Taking his shoes off, he padded down the hall. Maybe he should wake her, just say hello. Stopping in the doorway, he peered in and smiled broadly.

Bella was 'star fishing', her pyjama leg scrunched up to her knee and her hair spread out across the pillow. A strand played across her lips, and twitched with every breath. Abby was asleep on her belly, a hand outstretched and entwined with one of Bella's. Silently he crept to her side of the bed.

"Abby." He whispered. She didn't move. "Abby." He stroked her cheek as she frowned and sighed. "Abby Kovac, wake up." Her eyes flew open and she recoiled. He laughed as she stared at him.

"You made me jump…gosh…what?" she sat up and shook her head, to clear it. "Why didn't you call, tell us you were coming." She smiled slowly.

"I wanted to surprise you. But my flight was delayed. I'm sorry." She caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.

"I've missed you." She whispered, pulling him down on the bed next to her. "Why did you come back early?"

"I kept getting your letters and wondering if I had made the biggest mistake, leaving you both here. It was as if I needed to get it out my system to make me realize where I needed to be all along." He kissed her softly. "Right here."

Her arms enveloped him, as she slid back into the bed and he followed.

"So she's still alive." He whispered in her ear. She swatted him lightly.

"Of course, she wasn't with you." He tickled her ribs and laughed, his breath like a familiar touch along her skin. All those weeks she'd longed for this touch, this feeling of his body curved around hers fitting together like the clichéd jigsaw. "She's missed you."

"I've missed both of you. More than you can imagine." He drank in the scent of her skin, the feel of her hand on his arm, the beat of her heart on his palm. Everything he'd dreamt of was within his touch right now.

"She's changed."

"You've been away for…7 weeks? I hardly think she's changed."

"She has. Her hair is longer, she looks bigger. And she has another bruise." He pointed to the one on her knee. "Looks like a heart."

"I was trying to teach her to swim." Abby confessed. "I wanted us to be able to go together when you came back. You foiled my plan."

"We can teach her together." She nodded.

------

"DADDY!" Bella leapt across the bed towards him, her face lit up.

"Hey Belly, have you been good." She nodded furiously, clinging to him. He hugged her close and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent.

"Did you miss me?"

"I sure did little one." Bella reached out and shook Abby.

"Mommy, daddy's back." Abby laughed and pulled her daughter between them.

"Yes he is. How about we go swimming again today- you can show daddy what we learnt last week." Bella bounced and giggled in the loving embrace of her parents.

As soon as she was fed, bathed, dressed and in front of Barney, Abby went to get a shower. As she was rinsing off, she felt a breeze.

"Luka?"

"Yeah, I'm just washing my face." He ran a basin-full. "I saw your letter on the side."

"Did you read it all?"

"No, I didn't want to be nosy. I just saw the first line. So he's written to you."

"Yeah, and I wrote back." She shook her head and turned off the water. "I wanted you and Bella to get to know him."

"You need to as well. He left when you were…"

"Seven. I was seven and Eric was 18 months." She towelled her hair and sighed. Luka stepped over and hugged her.

"I'm here for you. I wont leave you again. I realised one day when I stood with Carter that my life didn't just revolve around me anymore. There is Bella and you to think of, and here is where I'm happy." Abby kissed his broad chest and smiled.

"Welcome home.


End file.
